Losing a part of the family

I just talked to my mom and asked about how our dog Nina has been doing because last time I talked to her she wasn't doing good she's a pit bull so we assumed she had gotten hip dysplasia but today my mom told me she can't keep food or water down and she hasn't gone to the bathroom in four days and she can barely walk. And I just I've been balling since I got off the phone with her. I wish I was home so I could be with her and hug her. I wish I never left she got bad after I moved away. I miss my baby I don't want to lose her. She was always there when I was upset and crying she would always just cuddle me. If and when she dies how am I gonna get over this it's been like an hour and I'm still crying. I can't really talk about this with my boyfriend cause he thinks death is a beautiful thing and I just idk 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔