Am I horrible for not wanting my mum in the delivery suite?

Question

My mum lives a couple of hours away so was telling her that I'd let her know when I go into labour so her and my step dad can prepare to come down. My hospital doesn't allow any visitors in the delivery suite and there isn't even a waiting area that I'm aware of. People can only come to visit once you and baby have been moved to the maternity ward. She has arranged to stay at a friends house when she comes down, in case I am in labor through the night or something. But I explained to her that I'll iust let her know when the baby is born and she can head to the hospital which is about half an hour away, that will allow time for us to be moved to the ward.

I think she has gotten a bit funny and was expecting to be at the delivery suite, because she said "oh I thought you said you could have 2 plus you in delivery". I just didn't answer her but I'm like yes... But I don't want two. I just want it to be me and my partner. I don't want to feel smothered with her there and would prefer to feel comfortable hopping in and out of the shower or whatever else I need to do with just my partner.

But then I'm starting to feel horrible, I'm her only daughter and although she has other grandchildren I think it's a little different when it's your daughter giving birth.

How many of you had just your partner and how many had your mums also? Should I feel bad for only wanting it to be me and my partner? Or should I be more understanding that I'm her daughter and she wants to be there for me. Starting to feel really horrible about it :-(

Answer

I plan to only have my partner with me, my mum is only 20 minutes away from the hospital, I love her dearly but I know that I don't want her there when I'm in labour, she means well but often says the wrong thing or takes things the wrong way. Don't feel bad about it, you need to focus on yourself and your baby ♡

Answer

I'm only having my boyfriend in the room when I deliver as well. It's such an intimate moment that I'd like to share it with only him. Some people are just different and feel like their mom should be part of that, and that's ok too....it's just not in my plan 😊

Answer

I am the same I know my mom wanted to be there but this is a special moment for me and my partner so I told her she could come straight after. My dad backed me up by saying it had been only him and my mom there when me and my brother were born so let us have it the SMS way.

Answer

I'm not having my mom in the room, I love her dearly, we talk on the phone almost every day & see each other a few times a month, this will be her only biological grandchild but she is the most anxious person in the world & I know it would be too much for her & for me to deal with, I think a part of her wants to be there but luckily she just said whatever I wanted was fine, she adores my husband & knows that he'll take good care of me. Also once baby girl is out after my stepson gets to meet baby sister my mom will get to be the 1st of the family to hold her.

Answer

It'll be just my husband & I. It's our first child and we went through a lot to get here. I want a calm & happy delivery experience.  My mom is really high-maintenance emotionally, hates hospitals, and overshares without asking first on social media - there is a very good chance I could look up from pushing and she'll have been live-streaming the whole thing 😬 No thx!

Answer

I wanted my mom with me lol everyone is different though. It was nice to have someone there who had been through labor and worked kind of as a doula since I was kind of out of it and my husband obviously didn't know what to say or do.

Answer

I'm just having my husband and I once I start pushing. People can visit beforehand and after. Luckily, I have an older sister who did this same thing so now that it's my turn, she isn't hurt by anything bc I am just doing what my sister did lol.

Answer

I have a good relationship with her but I'm a fairly private person. My boyfriend and I are very close and had only planned on it being us two. But the more I think about it the more I just feel sad like I'm robbing her of that experience or something.

Answer

I've always had my mom there, except the last time around because it was a csection andonly my husband was allowed. It's a beautiful bonding experience with your mom if you guys have a good relationship. However this time around she asked if only my husband could be there she hasn't been feeling well and I completely understand her. She is going through some kidney problems.

Answer

I told my mom she can't come in either. It was hard, in her only daughter as well. I told her should could stay with us for a week after we get home in a week or two. It's a tough convo but I'm gonna stick to my guns on this one.

Am I horrible for not wanting my mum in the delivery suite?

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