Am I being too protective???

Question

"My advice to everyone else is that if you have a friend or family member that just had a baby don’t ask if you can hold her baby. You can smile at the baby and play with the baby while the mom is holding her. Believe me, if the mom wants you to hold the baby she tell you."

I've had so many people already tell me I'm being overbearing or ridiculous. But unless I say "would you like to hold her??," don't expect me to hand her over. I will say "no - stop." And it's nothing personal. I don't think people REALLY realize you've protected and felt your baby inside of you and safe from germs and the outside world for the past 9 months. Having someone hold her - and not constantly feeling her is absolutely PETRIFYING even to think about to me. I know not every mom is like that. Fine. But I am. So Just remember to respect our boundaries. I'm sure I'll be better about sharing when she's older but I'm not going to pass my newborn around like a puppy for everyone to hold when she has zero immunity.

I understand like our parents coming to see her after I have her and our siblings as well but I just think it's weird for people to bombard at the hospital for long periods of time. I feel like that's a time for My SO, myself and Our daughter to have major family bonding time and it's weird to interrupt. Or to have people waiting while you give birth. Like we will call you when it's time to visit!!!! Maybe I'm just hormonal but the whole thing feels way too intrusive no matter who you are to me. I don't want to hear "such and such has been waiting for 5 hours in the waiting room can they come in," That's almost forcing me to say yes when maybe I don't want to yet. Let us bond as a family! Again maybe I'm just being hormonal or overthinking it. But I think people should wait for that phone call to come when we agree and feel comfortable to have visitors.

I'm 38 weeks and I can't sleep it's giving me so much anxiety! Am I the only one? How do I come across less crazy about this. I know I'm going to hurt someone'a feelings. 🙁

Answer

Honestly we aren't inviting anyone to the hospital except my sister who Is a major support for me. I asked to be "not listed" at the hospital so literally if someone doesn't know my room number they will be told I'm not there. One of my best friends said when she found out I was pregnant "well I definitely want to be there in the waiting room with everyone else!" I told her we weren't having anyone come to the hospital, not even my own mother. My deal is, I don't know how I'm going to handle birth. I could be a crying emotional wreck. I want to be able to enjoy visitors too. I want to be happy the moment I see my mom, dad, in-laws, friends etc hold my baby for the first time, not in pain/out of it from drugs/emotional etc. So no, you're not alone in this. Just do not tell people when you go into labor.

Answer

I asked my mother not to visit until we go home.  A close friend may visit as she is bringing me my herbal soups, but otherwise I asked everyone else to just wait a few days.
 
I have heard having visitors in the hospital is easier as the nurses help monitor the amount of people, length of visit, and even make everyone use hand sanitizer.  It is harder to do that at home.
 
BUT ... for comfort reasons, I just asked people to wait until I am home and more comfortable.  Then they can sit on the couch and just enjoy their time with us and the new baby.

Am I being too protective???

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