when do moms love their babies

Question

I feel horrible I'm 17 weeks and have always suffered from sever depression, all the hormone changes and now now with no medication has left me struggling with depression and anxiety.

My whole life I've grown up with the idea that women are always so overjoyed and excited and head over heels for their unborn child.

Me, I'm not over come with joy I don't t feel attached I don't feel in love and frankly I often question why I did this, do I even want this? Will I ever love him/her? I can't picture myself loving a baby

We wanted a baby before and we're happy about the idea of a family especially since we had a MC 2 years ago. but ever since I've become pregnant this is now my new outlook and now I'm riddled with guilt for feeling that way on top of everything else.

I've heard some people have to see or hold their kid to feel a connection, but I'm just not sure any more. Is there something wrong with me or will this pass?

Answer

I feel this way all the time. I got through stages where I am so excited and happy to be pregnant then I go through my hard days like today where I feel like my life is over and that I'm trapped and not ready. Of course I'm young and not married so I feel this way. There is nothing to feel ashamed of. It happens to people, and it's not out of the ordinary. I know the minute I hold my baby will be the best day of my life and I'm sure it will be for you. Just stay strong; and try to be grateful and happy for the life you have created! And the new one you have ahead of yourself full of adventures ❤

Answer

There is NOTHING wrong with you.  There is no right or wrong timeline with regards to feeling a connection. Never let anyone or anything make you feel like you should be feeling any particular way at all, be it happy,sad, terrified, or indifferent about your pregnancy. There are no wrong feelings and no feelings you do (or don't) have say anything about how you'll be as a mother. PLENTY of women feel zero connection until they're holding their child and plenty more take time even after the birth to connect.

Yes, we carry our children, feel them kick, etc. But let's be real: this is a stranger we havent met! It's OK to feel unconnected to someone you can't even look in the eye! 
And babies can be terrifying! What a massive change to your life that you have no real way of measuring or anticipating. You only know you're about to change and give up so much. THAT you know for sure... The joy you're told you'll feel is an unmeasurable, as yet unreal, thing. 
You're OK. You're not bad or wrong or messed up :) 
I won't sit here and tell you how you'll feel... Promise you'll adore this little one as soon as you see them. But I HIGHLY anticipate that will be the case. And if you need time or feel you need help, talk to someone. You're far from alone and there is zero shame in ANY feelings you have :)

Answer

I suffer from depression n having a high risk pregnancy didn't help at all. I can say I fell in love with my LO wen I heard her cry for the first time. I don't cry unless I am piss tfo but I wept so hard lol. During my pregnancy was a whole other story. I felt no connection to her n pretty much hated being pregnant bc of my hormones, emotions, n depression. Hopefully once ur LO is here u will have that immediate connection n love

Answer

The day I felt my baby move for the first time is when the connection really flourished. I hope it is the same for you, at 17 weeks it can happen at any time. If it doesn't connect you with the baby, that's okay too. Nothing is wrong with you and many women feel this way while pregnant.

Answer

I'm almost 35 weeks and still not feeling a huge attachment to my baby girl and I'm totally ok with it!! I know once I give birth and she is here I will have an instant bond..everyone is different and finds that connection at different times. As long as you aren't feeling resentment or hate towards the baby, it's completely normal.

Answer

I'm 14 weeks and I feel the same way. I spend tons of time on here reading and think about my baby a lot but I'm just not overjoyed about the pregnancy right now. It wasn't planned but we are in an okay spot for kids. I know I'll feel different when my baby is born. I'm even hoping when we find out the gender and give the baby a name, maybe I'll be more attached. We have another appt Wednesday so hoping seeing baby on the ultrasound will help. Hoping to even find out the gender.

Answer

I was not thrilled and instantly in love as soon as i got my positive. Honestly i did not feel connected until i regularly felt her moving, and she had a name. I cared about her, but i wasnt overjoyed from day one.

And there is nothing wrong with that. Its hard to be attached and in love with something you cant see or feel or touch

Answer

It's normal. Esp if you have depression and anxiety. Definitely talk to your doctor. I ultimately went back on my meds at 16 weeks to avoid a mental breakdown. Babies born to depressed mothers can sometimes have worse side effects than babies whose mothers took antidepressants. You're also at a higher risk for post partum depression so if you can I would suggest that you set up a counselor who can make you aware of the warning signs so you know what to look for after the baby is here. Also that pure joy and love we all think we feel doesn't happen for a lot of women. Even after the baby is born.  Your baby is a stranger, you are just getting to know each other. Not everyone has the love at first sight reaction and that's okay. You'll get there.

when do moms love their babies

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