Kinda long but something I need to get out and others opinions will help. This happened when I was 14, around 7 years ago. Every summer I would go out of state to visit and stay with family for a couple months while school was out. One night while I was over at my cousins house I met one of my older cousins husband, he was around 21, he never told me his real age. The same night I met him he started play kicking my leg under the table, it made me a bit uncomfortable so I scooted over and he moved closer. I was a shy person growing up, I was chubby, didn't get much attention from guys so this was weird to me. I ended up standing up and moving to the end of the table but he still would try reaching for my hand when no one was looking. I left for the night after that and went back a couple nights later and he was there again. I had went with another one of my cousins this time and he began to do the same things as before. At this point I knew what he was doing was wrong but I thought he was cute and didn't say anything. When me and my cousin were walking back to her house he asked if we needed a ride and she said yes and got in so I did too. We got there and when I got out he jumped out too and gave me a tight hug. I just kinda stood there not knowing what to do. I woke up the next morning to a text from an unknown number, it was him and when I asked how he got the number he said he got it from my cousins phone. I didn't reply after and got spammed with text from him. I gave in and started texting back when he kept calling me beautiful and gorgeous. Again I was 14 at the time so all I was thinking was "a cute older guy is coming on to me, cool!" Fast forward about a week later and we ended up meeting up a couple times, we would kiss and make out. I had no idea what I was doing I had never been with a guy like that before. He tried getting me to have sex with him both times but I always said no. The third time we met up was when it happened. We met behind some old house no one lived at and again me tried getting me to have sex. I said no but this time just kinda grabbed me, turned me around and did it. I had so much racing through my mind I didn't even say anything. That was the last time I saw him but he continued to text me for long after till I came to my senses and completely cut him off. Did I make him think it was ok since I didn't say anything during? Was it my fault for putting myself in that situation? I would NEVER do anything like this now that I'm older and I get so mad at myself for doing it. It didn't bother me after but 7 years later now I get bad flash backs and anxiety just thinking about it.