Am I selfish?

Question

I feel dumb even writing this because I don't think I am, but I swear people perceive me as being selfish. Baby is due on Tuesday, who knows when he will come though. Anyways my cousin who I am more so friends with then family, just announced she is coming to visit next weekend. I just hate people out of no where saying they are coming to stay with me, not to mention my SO is taking a week off work when baby comes for bonding time for the three of us. I just wish others could think of this before assuming we want company
.. I wouldn't do that to someone! When family or a friend has had a baby I wait and then ask if it's okay and I'm only there for a few hours, I don't intend on staying for days at there house. Anyways I just kindly told her we will figure something out, but SO is taking time off work and we want the first week together for bonding. Anyone else dealing with this stuff?

Answer

If someone just announced to me that they were coming to stay with me I would honestly think they were joking (days away from my due date or not). Who does that? When I realized they were serious I would tell them that, no, they were not staying with me. End of story. It would not even be an option.

Answer

No, it's not selfish.  I'd be furious if someone just invited themselves over like that so close to time.  It's one thing if they're super helpful and close to you, but it should still be a "is it ok?" Kind of thing.

Answer

At this point selfish is exactly what you are allowed to be! You don't need to feel like you have to entertain someone late in pregnancy or right after your lo arrives. And it is so important for just the 3 of you to figure out your new rolls as a family. Having another person there makes that harder

Answer

Not selfish at all

Answer

What?! That's insane. We told everyone we wanted 2 weeks alone basically to spend time focussing on becoming a family. If someone said they were coming to stay with me near my due date I wouldn't even be able to take them seriously. I'd think it was a joke! Hope you're okay, you're not being selfish. THEY are being selfish in assuming that would even be a good idea.

Answer

If someone doesn't have kids they don't understand. And they think that you appreciate it and that you will love it. But I know what you mean! I don't even want visitors at hospital except my very close family. I will be tired and want to enjoy my baby with my husband but I know others aren't considerate of that.

Answer

That is insane. I ended up staying in the hospital for SIX days with my first so I hope you told this person they can't visit or stay at your place. You have no idea how birth will go and how you'll feel.

Answer

Sooo not selfish! She invited herself? No way! She may think she is being helpful, and I'm sure it will be hard to tell her No- but tell her no (politely)! This is a once in a lifetime event- spending those first few days with your new growing family. Your cousin does not need to be a part of that. It's private.

Answer

Not selfish! I've told all family and friends that while my husband is taking time off work after the birth there will be no overnight visitors. Gotta set them boundaries girl!

Am I selfish?

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