I need advise on my Mother
Around 3 years ago, I was in a toxic relationship and ended up falling pregnant. The father wanted nothing to do with the baby, I had just turned 19 and he was a lot older than me. Round about 8 weeks pregnant I started to bleed which went on for weeks and weeks, I eventually ended up having a miscarriage. Which was heart breaking for me, throughout this whole time I stayed at my mothers house. The way she behaved towards me was vile that's the only word I can find to describe her actions. As soon as she found out I was pregnant she wanted me out of the house, I asked her not to have any contact with the father of the baby but she continued to message him behind my back. Things got worse between me and my mother when I started bleeding and having to go to the hospital. At the time my little brother was around 11 and her and my step dad hadn't shared a room for around 10 years. All of a sudden she was trying for a baby - while I was going through this miscarriage. I remember begging her and crying asking why would she start trying for a baby out of the blew when I was going through all this by myself and needed her support. Some of you might read this and think I'm selfish but my mother had me and my 2 other sisters to a different man and never raised any of us, we were raised by my gran. My mum still to this day has nothing to do with my sisters. It wasn't until she met my step dad and had my brother she actually took any notice of any of us by this time I was around 13.
I questioned the reasons behind her all of a sudden wanting a baby and she told me that it was because she was jealous that I had fallen pregnant. She made several comments of "how my baby wasn't planned so wouldn't be loved" "she had my step dad there and I had no one" all these facts I knew for myself but I didn't need my mother reminding me of them. When I eventually had my miscarriage, I was in pain and crying and she was say "look at the state of you!" I felt like my world was coming down around me with no support from anyone. She told me how I was a selfish person for having a miscarriage and she could've had my baby and took care of it.
Time has past and I haven't spoken to my mum since. I've met an amazing partner, to whom I got engaged to at Christmas time. With the wedding on my mind I thought I would speak to my mum again and try and make her apart of my life. From the moment we spoke it was hard, she brought up how she is going for <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> treatment to have a baby as she is 44 now and has had trouble conceiving naturally . This just brings back memories of the past but I'm trying my best to have a relationship with my mother. My partner and I have been trying for a baby for over a year now with no luck and everything with my mum is bringing me down. I don't know whether to cut her out my life completely ? Any suggestions
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