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I'm Just Not Wanting Her To Go

My husband and I are on mission. We live in an isolated place. It gets really lonely for me and my little toddler. Moving here so far from family has proven to be a harder challenge. And while I think of myself a strong woman, I'm laying in this bed squalling myself to sleep.

My momma has been here a week, and she goes home tomorrow. I'm 7 months pregnant. And while she's come and gone before, I'm barely holding myself together. No, I'm actually falling apart.

We are so close, my momma and I. My husband calls her "mom" and we are blessed not to have the normal mother in law issues there. And I've so needed the extra help and just someone around. My small child is so sad she's leaving.

And tomorrow, we will head to worship, and she will be headed home. I've never squalled at my family leaving. But I don't know if it is this baby I'm carrying or my own selfishness that I can't handle it this time. I will go back to primarily being alone with me and my child while my husband works.

I don't have anyone I could tell. Maybe it is the baby hormones...I know it's foolish, a grown woman crying over her momma leaving. I've been married and gone for many years. But I feel like she's taking civilization and normalcy with her.

And I just can't seem to hold myself together this time.

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