Feeling Sad. just a little venting

I've been in a relationship with someone for 7 yrs and have a child with him and love him a lot. But I feel like I'm in a pointless relationship. I don't trust him because of things he's done, he treats me like shit, always has an excuse for the bull ish he does, has put his hands on me.  But he's too stubborn to fully apologize. (I get sorry but I was mad or some other stupid excuse) though It's so hard to leave this person. I feel scared, embarrassed, stupid, used, hurt, anger, regret. While he makes it seem he could care less. He says he cares about me yet treats me like shit. We both can't even see each other getting married, so why should I continue to waste my time? 😞😢 I'm 29 never been married when will I get my happily ever after?