When should father/son stop sharing a bed?

My 9 year old son just told me he still shares a bed with his dad. This just seems odd to me but I'm not surprised by it considering his dad wiped our son's butt for him until he was 6 (when he had been able to by his self since before age 4) and until last year he would sit in the bathroom with him while he showered because he "wanted to make sure he was properly washing". Our son goes to his grandparents house Thursday night until Sunday night every weekend. They refuse to do every other week so that we can have actual time with him bc this is how it's always been. They live almost an hour away and drive him back and forth from school. His dad has lived 2 hours away for two years now bc he is in college and he comes up Friday night to Saturday night to see our son and stays with him at his parents house. Our son has his own room and bed but his dad does not. Instead of sleeping on the couch (bc it's not comfortable to him) his dad sleeps with him. Ive never really been okay with them sharing a bed bc when he was little, it was just a fight getting him to sleep in his own bed when he was home with me. Once in a while like when he's sick or a bad dream woke him up or during a storm, yeah that's fine but every single time they're together? I've told him how I don't like him getting our son dependent on sleeping with someone bc it leads to arguments and he pitches a fit when he has to go to bed alone. I'm sorry but I'm not having my 9 year old sleep with my new husband and me and I'm not about to go sleep in my kids twin bed with him. He also begs for his younger brother to sleep in the bed with him. Every. Single. Night. No that is not happening. If his wakes up scared and climbs in bed with him once in a blue moon, that's fine but every night isn't necessary. Do you think I should remind him yet again how I don't think it's appropriate?

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