Best Friend Rant

My (ex) best friend just had her 3rd baby this afternoon. Even though we were 1000 miles apart, I sat with her on Skype when she miscarried her 2nd baby. Then when she got her rainbow baby bpf I tried to support her, however I did not support her decision to have a baby with her abusive bf. I encouraged her to get out of the relationship for her children. The way I delivered the message was harsh, and I believe that blinded her towards my good intentions and message. We have not really spoken since the argument, yet before that we were best friends for 6 years. I'm so happy for her, but incredibly sad. I felt so guilty for missing the birth of her first child, who became my nephew once we reconnected. I want to be a part of her children's lives, however I cannot support the decision of someone who traps men by getting pregnant on purpose. I suppose I am just sad that things turned out this way. If the situation was traditional and the baby was conceived by two loving consenting people I would feel differently. It's been 9 months, and so much has happened. I miss my best friend, yet people grow up and grow apart. If I could write a letter to her, I would tell her how much I love her and her children. How I would still do anything for them all. I would say I wish I could have thrown your baby showers, and I wish I could have been there for the birth like I had promised. I would say please text me at 3 am like you used to, and we can cry together. Let's say all of our private jokes, and we can watch the old YouTube videos we made as we laugh historically. I love you Lady, I always will. However, my life is too hectic for me to be both of our crutches anymore. I'm not strong enough to hold both of our weights, but if I was I would be there. I would have been there your whole pregnancy, for every milestone, no matter the cost or time or effort. Stay safe, smart, and happy. Don't let that man hurt you or those babies, because you're all beautiful and perfect. This is goodbye now, and we both deserve closure. So I love you. Goodbye to the should haves, the would haves, and the could haves.

Update: I understand that I was being a shitty friend for not supporting her when she trapped her boyfriend into staying with her by getting pregnant. I did not post everything that happened. Moreover, my moral compass will not allow me to be friends with and condone the actions of someone who does things like that. There is no way I can accept that, because you're ruining four people's lives. You're subjecting your children, yourself, and that man to a life of conflict and pain. People plan pregnancies because they love one another, they want to build a family together, and they are both ready. People should not plan pregnancies to make their partner have to stay with them.