Boyfriend calls me names..?

Question

I know this has nothing to do with babies & birth, but I am a mother of a 10 month old baby girl with my boyfriend. We have been doing really well, not fighting so much since the birth (but a lot during pregnancy), but today was really where I wanted to draw the line. But I need some advice.

He started a new job today. He calls me on his way home from work-"do you know _____" I said yes, why? "Did y'all have sex" I replied, ".....4 years ago. Why?" He hung up.

I wanted to be honest with him, and he knows my sexual history. It just didn't click with him that's who it was but when I asked him how he knew if he didn't tell him he said "I assumed, that's how sad it is. Everywhere I go I run into someone you've had sex with. You're a whore, always will be." He won't even let me talk to him & when I tried he threatened to punch me in the mouth. Of course I walked away & minded my own business!

An hour later he comes in the living room. "You're not going to cook anything? I worked all day don't you think I'm hungry? I guess that's just what hoes do." I was silent. "Still not gonna say anything or cook for me? Wow." I replied, "no! Why would I do that? Guess that's just the 'hoe' in me!"

I KNOW this treatment isn't acceptable, but I don't know how to handle it. I am not proud of my past. I feel bad for ruining his new job, he doesn't even want to work there anymore bc of this. I don't want to leave bc we have a great home & beautiful daughter together. Please give me your advice! Any would be greatly appreciated!

Answer

Leave. That guy is a disrespectful jerk. Things will just get worse. Sorry there's a baby involved.

Answer

You didn't ruin his new job! He knew you weren't a virgin when he met you, if he can't handle that he should have never continued a relationship with you. There's NO excuse for how he talks to you!

Answer

His masculinity is very fragile and he is wildly insecure and he probably doesn't think he's wrong why deal with this

Answer

You may not be able to change your past but either he is going to be accepting of your past or not. I personally would not be able to be someone who verbally abuses me

Answer

You said it yourself this is your PAST everyone has one and he has to deal with that. With the name calling that is abuse! I hate when people jump straight to you gotta leave him but in this case I'd agree, you've got to get out not just for you but for your baby.

Answer

I don't care how comfortable I am where I live now if my husband ever treated me like that I would leave ! That's so disrespectful.. everyone has a past but it's the past ! Who gives a fuck what happened 4 years ago! He 1 did something that he feels guilty of and is trying to turn it around on you 2 isn't every happy how things are right now or 3 just plan ass hole and I'd say you should leave because with him threatening to hit you . Trust me he would do it if he got mad enough. My brother was like that and he end up slamming into a wall and tried to punch me in the face but I punched him first and he walked away.  So please don't stay but if you believe he won't (which he may surprise and not) just keep a friend or something posted on the situation and have a thing where you kinda check in every few hours with them or something so that way if something does happen and you don't check in they know to call the police ...

Answer

Try going to counseling. He obviously got hurt by meeting someone you slept with, it seems he is immature and has no idea how to properly handle his feelings. 
But don't just label him a bad person. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. Only you know him enough to tell. 
But let me just say, my brother was a jerk.. sounds just like your guy. He was immature, mean, selfish and just a total prick when it came to relationships. Granted, we had a bad childhood, but once I found out a out how he treat his SO I encouraged him to go to therapy and counseling. He did, and it changed him. Because he is smart and he learnt why he felt the way he did, why it makes him act the way he did, and how to change it all. He now has very healthy relationships. He just needed to be taught some things about people and life that he didn't know yet.

Answer

My husband does stuff like this and then the next day he claims to not remember doing it and treats me like a queen. But my husband has a mental illness ... he is bi polar and refuses meds... does he possibly have anything like that or is he just an ass? And no my husbands illness doesn't it make it ok , I've put up with way more than I should. I'm just saying if he maybe has an illness it can get dangerous at times and you need to know.

Boyfriend calls me names..?

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