This pregnancy has been horrible. And I hate even admitting that because my wiser self knows this is a blessing.

Also I can barely eat. Though I've put on 2kg so the doctors aren't too concerned and bub seems to be doing just fine. 

I'm still turned off everything. I still throw up most mornings and some days it's an all day thing. I've been in and out of hospital, on a million different drugs to help calm me and stop throwing up. After a big day of it I can't eat for days and then I still am forcing myself to eat when I really don't want to. I'm eating less than I normally would. Drinking less water then I normally would because all it can take is a sip of water and it's on. 

I can't stomach much in one go. 

My first pregnancy was not this way and so I'm comparing the two and I feel like I'm not giving my baby enough the first pregnancy I ate so well yes shit to but so much goodness and this time it's like everything I used to love has gone out the window and I don't love anything else either. I keep waiting for the moment it stops and I'm hungry as and I get to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy eating and providing for her. Ahhhh I feel torn. Doctors say sometimes the baby is completely fine and it's mum who has to suffer. If that's the case then ok, but I fear I'm not giving her enough. I want to relax and trust she is but the mother in me is over concerned and would rather eat too much rather than not enough. This is such a bizarre feeling because I LOVE food 😫☹️