TW rape

So recently I got into a situation with a guy i was seeing. It started out fine, but then he mentioned wanting to try some things that I wasnt comfortable with (race play). I told him no, but he kept pressuring me to let him. He tried to make it sound like  it wasnt a big deal, but The idea of him using racial slurs in bed really scared me. He brushed it off and started to go inside, but at this point I was very upset. I told him I didnt want to have sex anymore, even without the kink. He got really mad and forced himself in me and proceded to play out his race play fantacy.
Its been about 4 months since it happened, but I feel like I am not as upset as I should be.  It seems like when this happens to people, they are supposed to stay distraught for a long time.  My friends dont believe me because Im not acting like someone who got raped.
I havent tried to pursue another sexual relationship, but is it okay that Im not outwardly upset all the time?
Edit: yes it was race play, so he called me things like n*gger and his slave.