Breakdowwwwwwn

I've done so good SO FUCKING GOOD. I did great in labor, great post partum. Have been great the last three months.but my patience is wearing. My son started full on teething this past weekend and from the get go I knew it was teething but my mom got me thinking it might be an ear infection so I took him in, teething just like I thought. Since then she has been bothering the shit out of me I know she has good intentions but asking me " have you done this? Have you done that? Maybe it's this. Has he done this today? Well he's just upset" when Ive literally fucking tried everything and wasn't asking for help. It just makes me furious. Like she's doubting I'm a decent enough mother to know what to do. Then my dad gets mad at me that I'm irritated as they're overstimulating him making it 10times worse like I'm not allowed to have a fucking bad day, to have ONE day where I don't fucking say please and thank you and use my fucking nice voice. And as far as myself I don't fucking want help. I just want some fucking moral support. I appreciate the help, I really do. But I just need someone to stand there and say HEY you're doing a GOOD fucking job. I don't want to break down. I've been fighting a breakdown for so fucking long. But it's comin in hot. I'm trying so hard to stay level headed so that I can soothe him because I know he feeds off my energy but I can't. So much. So much is going on. And now the ONE thing that had been holding me together is starting to feel disconnected to me, not being able to soothe him or figure out what's wrong kills me. To be acted toward like I'm doing something wrong or not doing enough kills me. The situation and all my pent up anger for the father who had raped me kills me. I've never cried about it. I don't know how. But the flood gates are opening wide tonight 😥 yes I know I sound like a sailor, lots of feels, lots of anger, lots of sadness just hit.. HARD. So forgive me. Idk what the point of this even was I just needed to type it so cheers to everyone else feeling like they hit a brick wall, I'm with ya. 🍻