TMI: My Past Hour...

For over an hour, I have been in agony on the toilet, trying to rid myself of a poo that was much larger than its exit door. My husband, while laughing hysterically at my predicament, handed me a small container of Vaseline and a glove and said "reach up there and lube it up."  I begrudgingly donned the glove and did what I had to. Crying and squealing in terror and shame the whole time. An additional 20 minutes from my start time, I was finally freed, but I feel that my posterior will never be the same again...

To any of you out there who have experienced or will one day experience this harrowing torment, I salute you.