Can I be Honest? ***A long rant***

I just sometimes feel so horrible as a mom 😔 I do everything I can for my LO but I need to do so much more and it makes me so depressed. I may be overreacting, it may be my hormones. I don't know but I feel really shitty ever since I was pregnant.. I didn't get to do a pregnancy photo shoot I didn't get to have a baby shower, I wasn't able to get an apartment so now we have to share with others, I had mostly everything I needed so I let it go and then when I had to have her I was 37 + 5 so she didn't get to be full term  that bothers me the most she came as soon as me and my SO had sex I went to the hospital and they kept me because I was already 5cm dilated and because of that I didn't get to do the water birth like I wanted, had to get a c section. I cried almost everyday when recovering because I couldn't hold her because I was jn so much pain and couldn't even do skin to skin until I came back from the recovery because I couldn't stop shaking because I was freezing But I let that surpass because I was in awe from my baby girl and so happy that she was healthy. Then after she was born I had and still dealing with family issues to worry about because my family doesn't like her dad because he's not what they wanted for me 🤦🏻‍♀️ so my daughter has to suffer from that in multiple ways because I have to deal with them. So at this point im already emotionally exhausted because all I been doing is crying and be frustrated.  Then for her first month that fell on Valentine's day I did my best to scrape up money to get her pictures done and make sure all of us had something to wear and make sure my hair looks just a little decent but of course the photographer was racist and the pictures came out very ugly. All I did was cry. Me and my SO Been looking for a job can't find one so We kind of struggling financially but not really because we still make something happen for our daughter (especially him) best way we can.  I love my baby and I love her father. It just really depresses me that Ii can't do anything right for her. But I can't stop trying. Now easter is around the corner my mom made her a basket and getting her pictures taken but I feel bad that I can't even afford to make her one or get her pictures taken so her father could be involved in them. This may seem like it's really not important to others but to me it means alot because of the memories behind it. Shes my first daughter, my first child at the age of 20 that's why I wanted things to atleast half way go my way😔 but it's life.. sorry for the long post but thank you for reading