I'm posting this because I have no one else to tell, but I need to get it out and get feedback. I trust that your responses won't be hurtful. I am a 16 year old girl. For the past year (since Dec. 13, 2015), I have been involved in a relationship with an older man. Initially, he told me he was 26 (which is still awful, but I personally was more comfortable talking with someone that age. I was 15, and It wasn't supposed to turn into what it was). 6 months into the relationship, he confessed he was 33 (now 34). But I continued to trust him. And things were good for a while. I have mental issues from traumatic events in my past, and he was always there for me when I needed someone. And I was there for him. He told me that I saved him. I thought I finally found love. In August of 2016, I gave my virginity to someone else, also of age. I cheated, and felt terrible (still do), but I hid it. In September of 2016, I met my boyfriend and we had sex multiple times. At one point, he came close to raping me in a car, but he decided to stop. I thought nothing of that then. I was an idiot. Eventually, I told him I had cheated. And he lost it. And he became abusive. I will attach a screenshot of things he said through text. The only reason he couldn't physically abuse me is because he was across the country for work. He tried to force me into ridiculous circumstances (marrying him, getting pregnant for him, running away with him), all while he told me he was gonna have to cheat on me "one day." And that he "couldn't promise" he could be faithful. Eventually, he started being nicer, but damage was done. I had started pulling away, and eventually I began realizing how manipulative he was. When I tried to leave, he would threaten killing himself, he told me I couldn't have friends, he got mad when I did anything other than talk to him, he was just over controlling in general. This morning, I asked him to leave me alone forever, and he said he would because he couldn't stand being the source of my pain. He told me I would still always be "his." I felt sick to my stomach, and like I was being taunted. As if he was saying "you really think you can ever move on from this? You're stuck forever." I don't think I will ever be able to live a full day without thinking about this. He messed with my mind so much. I hate myself for being so vulnerable and stupid. I am absolutely disgusted. But now my pain feels invalid. I don't know if it's even okay for me to feel like the relationship wa traumatic. And I don't know if it's okay for me feel so devasted by statutory rape (based on the fact that it's not forceful rape). But I know that if I was as insightful as I am now, I never would've let him brainwash me. Are my feelings invalid? Am I being dramatic? Thank you for reading.

****UPDATE #2****

He continues trying to send messages to my kik. None have been anything violent or threatening yet. I have some worry that eventually he'll snap and just turn completely crazy. Unfortunately, he has a couple of inappropriate pictures of me, along with any screenshots he took during our Skype calls (that didn't even cross my mind, my friend had to bring that up). Since he has posted my kik on 4chan while angry before, I do not completely doubt he would post those photos as well. And for those who don't know, people on 4chan are disgusting, and will try to make those pictures viral. Possibly will try to find me online and in real life. Maybe I'm dumb, but right now, I don't think he will do that. I kept myself distracted all day yesterday and I felt ok. Now I just feel like I'm blocking out all emotions. I feel empty. Just waiting now...