I need to vent with no one to vent to 😩

I had a very rough pregnancy. It was not a planned pregnancy and my entire 9 months I think I cried 3 times a day... a good day was about 1 cry. My so and I were on the verge of separating and life was falling to pieces. My LO is 2 months old now. And I am JUST now starting to feel down. I feel stuck. My husband goes out every Friday night and I am home taking care of our children. I feel stuck. It sucks and sometimes I want to break down. Sometimes I feel like I should enjoy and love every minute more. But most days I feel like I am the one doing all the work. I have no interest in going out drinking. But I get sad when he goes out. And I am home. Selfish right? I was high risk for ppd but I pray every dang day I don't get it. I cannot fall apart I am already someone who has high anxiety so it doesn't help 😢