My boyfriend ask me to marry him, and I wanted this, not like this...

For a little I was getting bitchy about things (how I wanted to get married) but life changed, my mom died. I still wanted everything, but after seriously thinking more deeply into it without my mom being here I wanted everything to be different

At one point (a few weeks ago) I made it pretty clear we need money saved before we do anything. I don't want to ask my dad for any help with anything, and he's old school so I feel it's best we have money in the bank.

He didn't listen, he ask me anyway. It was so awarked. He was acting weird all day, and I told him this morning I just want to have a simple fun day. I even said I don't want any suprises. I said yes, but it didn't go how him or I wanted it. The first thing I said was does my dad know and, he said no

Idk, I also felt it would crush him if I said no. I don't know what to do. My dad being ask was so important to me, and I know money is important. I wanted him to get my dad permission.

I know it's hard because my dad works , does not like pretty much anyone over. I can't ask my dad for help for paying for anything. I don't want too.

I just want to cry