I'm only 18, will turn 19 in a couple of days.

Anyways, I broke up with my (ex) boyfriend last night. And I guess he wanted to too because he said it was mutual. He is 20.

He was very disrespectful to me and even made fun of me for being sensitive on birth control and on my period. Which I was on so we wouldn't have a child.

There were many other things.

It is killing me. It hurts so bad... Like someone is stabbing me in my chest. I will never see him again. Things will never be the same, but I know things will get better.

I am a CNA in nursing school and will be an RN in a few years and honestly that's one of the only things that is keeping me going right now.

I have always been extremely hard on myself. And I just can't help it. For example, I can't stop crying (I worked 8 hours today and had to hold it in). I think of the memories and the time we had together and I just break down. The funny thing? I've felt this exact same way with my last 2 breakups and I know in 1 week I will be back on my feet as my normal self.

I just hate myself for crying when he treated me like this.. But I can't stop the tears. It's like they need to come out, but I'm angry at myself for allowing myself to cry. It's pathetic of myself and pety. I hate myself for it...

Also, he wants to be friends with benefits which really upset me because he always slut shamed me for having a sex drive in the relationship.

I blocked him on Facebook and Instagram and will shortly on snapchat. I know I won't be able to handle it if he tries to snap me of a new girl or something. Is that okay for me to block him for my own good?