Baby daddy at the birth?

Question

My baby's dad and i are divorced now. It was a horrible breakup, as he was cheating on me and lying to me.... but we have already gotten to a friendly spot in the past month and a half since the divorce process first began. We want it to work as friends for our daughter, and so far it's been working okay.
But while we were married i obviously wanted him to be my birth partner and he wanted to cut the cord. Now, im not sure how comfortable i am having him be in there for the whole thing. Yet at the same time i recognize that this is his first child too, and its an experience he should be able to have and i dont want to take that away from him.

What do you moms or other moms-to-be suggest? I plan to talk to the midwife at my appointment today to see what she thinks as well.

Answer

I wouldn't . If he couldn't be faithful and take care of his pregnant wife then he doesn't deserve shit! Unless your comfortable with it . If it were me I'd let him in right after but not during . Plus, you wouldn't want to get false hope that he loves you again during an intimate moment like that . But it's really up to how your feeling . I had my closest friends with me for my first birth when my first child's father was born . And I was relaxed and able to enjoy the birth without any awkward feelings .

Answer

Talk to him about it. My husband was there for our first son, and will be for this one, but if I gave him the option to not be in the room he would take it. Lol. He hates hospitals and doctors and almost fainted last time. Maybe discuss your feelings with him and see how he feels about it, because he may not want to be there for the birth part and just for the after part.

If he wants to though, I would personally let him. You'll be coparenting for the next 18 years with this man, odds are you'll have to set your own feelings aside multiple times for the sake of your daughter.

I hope you two can work it out! 👍🏻

Answer

I would let him be in the room and cut the cord if he still wants to. Like you said it's his baby to and those are the things that fathers should be apart of.

Answer

I'd let him be there if he wants to. That's his baby too. He may not have been a good husband but he still has potential to be a good dad, they're not the same category. It also sounds like you in the back of your mind think he should be there too.

Answer

My husband was not with his first son's mom (romantically), but he attended the birth and cut the cord. It's his first baby. Maybe just have the nurse call him in way in the end? Like when you're ready to push? All you need to do is focus on a safe and healthy delivery and baby...

Answer

You already answered your question about it being his child also & him being apart of the experience so I think you should let him. Just because he wasn't so good at relationships doesn't mean he wouldn't be good at parenting.

Answer

If it makes you really uncomfortable what about an alternative? You could do delayed cord clamping so he doesn't have to be their for labour but could come in the room to cut the cord?

Baby daddy at the birth?

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