To Doula or Not To Doula?

Question

Hi ladies!!
  
FTM mom here. I'm considering all options of labor and birth, I've decided I want my husband with me during labor, I don't have a mom and my MIL won't be in the labor room.
  
I have heard many benefits of having a Doula, but am concerned that it will take the spotlight off of hubby/make him feel useless or overlooked. He wants very much to be involved in labor and the whole process!
  
I'm wondering from moms who have had a Doula (or maybe there are some Doula's on here) what were the pros and cons for you?
What did you like and didn't you like? Did hubby feel included still? 
  
Cost is not a problem, I have money put aside incase we do decide to have one. I'm more interested in the emotional pros and cons.
Thank you so much in advance!!!

Answer

I had a doula and I think it was well worth it. I'm not sure my partner would have a clue what to do and he's shy so I knew he wouldn't advocate for me like my doula did.  The doula basically quietly helped him be helpful to me lol there was a point when my back labour was bad and he wasn't pushing hard enough that I said "I want Stephanie!!" (Doula) he said this hurt his feelings but the doula reassured him that this usually happens near the end of labour. Lol but honestly it's about you and not him ;) plus this way he can get a bathroom break or a quick snack to be rejuvenated. My doula was $800 in 3 separate payments.

Answer

Doula! I wish I had one my husband was with me the whole time coaching
Me and supporting me he got me through almost all my labor then last minute I asked for the epidural I wanted a natural birth so badly but in the moment the pain was so fierce I was shaking and couldn't move luckily I pushed the baby out before the epidural kicked in but if I had a doula like I wanted I just know I would have made it through the entire labor without an epidural with just that little extra push ! Especially since my nurse kept coming in and asking me am I sure I don't want an epidural -_-. I didn't get one because of financial reasons but if I could go back in time and genuinely knew how important it is for most people to have extra professional support I would have saved up the money for it. So worth it!

Answer

Is it worth getting a doula if I am planning to get an epidural? I still think I’d benefit from one to help with anxiety and the unknown but from everything I’ve been reading they are most helpful in getting you through the pain naturally.

Answer

I can't recommend a doula enough. My husband loved having someone suggest ways he could comfort me.  She will be with you from the minute you start having contractions until the baby is out and it's such a comfort. Also mine saved me from giving birth in my bathtub. It's really worth it.

Answer

I got a doula fornthis pregnancy and have enjoyed and appreciated her all the way throufh. However now my baby is breech and i will have to get a cdection if she doenst turn.  I feel very defeated inside and almost like i wasted alot of time and money. But then again i have no control over what happens so it is whatl it is.

Answer

You do your birth plan with the doula. So you can plan for them to step in when your hubs gets tired, and trust they will need a break. Especially if it's a long labor. It's physical and mental for them too. Any concerns will be brought up ahead of time. I absolutely recommend it. They aren't there to take away any moments just to help.

Answer

I have one right now! She has been so helpful with all the questions I have, she gives me great advice, she's always checking on me! She says I'm there for just support and show you guys techniques to help with making labor easier not to get in the way!

Answer

Opening this conversation up again!
Hi ladies,
I found my perfect doula & cant wait to work with her and have her support . 
I’m also interested in postnatal care with the doula but unsure about the amount of time I ideally need or what is useful. How was your experience after delivery with your doula? 
You can DM me also. Thanks so much ☺️

Answer

I'm a ftm also and I'm just curious how much doulas cost on average. I'm also considering one but I'm still in my first trimester so I haven't done a ton of research on doulas when it comes to cost.

To Doula or Not To Doula?

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