29 weeks, everything just fell a part...

Hello all,

I guess Im not sure how to start this off. I feel Ive fallen into a dark place and Im just hoping for some advice/support if anybody even reads this..

My pregnancy has been wonderful, with no complications thus far. My relationship with my boyfriend (baby's father) however, has not. We have had serious ups & downs. Mostly, this is due to our clashing mental health, we tend to argue a lot. Which is bad for baby.

Things have be smooth more recently, and we were planning to get an apartment together. We have been talking about our anniversary coming up, and getting married one day.. Then I went and messed everything up. I had already been grouchy and been couped up in the house for 2 days. Needless to say, I was snappy w him as soon as he walked in. I said things to his sister that I shouldnt have said.. (and with whom, as well as the rest of his family, have always been very rude to me & our unborn son) I apologized, but rightfully he was still upset..this lead to a whole huge blow out and nasty things were said. The night ended with him saying he was unsure of whether he wanted to be w me & that I should find someplace else to stay. I told him I loved him, and he never responded.

This all happened yesterday. I havent heard from him since. I know he needs time to cool down, so Im trying to give him space. Im just hurt. And mad at myself. I started all of this. I "poked the bear"..

Im not sure where I will be living in two days.

Im not sure if he loves me anymore, or if he's just angry.

Im not sure if he will be around for our son, or me.

Im not sure how to process any of it...