step mom advice.....?

Question

My boyfriend has a daughter who's 5 and just the cutest girl ever. 
We're getting along pretty well with her but when I slept over last night (she loves co-sleeping with him when she stays at his place because he's travelling a lot for work) she was like "oh" and was pretty sad. 
He said we could all sleep together because he and I share a bed.
She was like "are you my new mommy now" and I think she was maybe even sad. 
I told her it's okay and she can sleep with her daddy and I'll sleep in the guest bedroom she still seemed sad though.
My boyfriend didn't want me to at first because he obviously wants her to like me too but I insisted on staying in another room so she wont feel bad.
Today he said he told her we're together and we love each other and stuff and said it's normal and she really likes me too and she might just be a little jealous but I feel so bad.
We used to nap with her and got along SO GREAT honestly it was always us against her dad but once she found out we're together she was sad and I don't ever want to get between her and her dad.

Answer

It's a change for her. She will forget it all in a few days.

Answer

I love you for this post. Love and concern for a child instead of jealousy. I don't have much advice other than give it time.

Answer

I agree with the not sleeping in the same bed as her, I wouldn't be best pleased if my daughter slept with both her dad and his partner, I think u did the right thing there.

I'm not a step mum but my daughter has 1. She loves her, and she's amazing with my daughter, I honestly couldn't fault her, she gives my daughter and her dad space but is also there. We don't use the term "step mum" tho, she's daddy's girlfriend. I think it just confuses them into thinking they have another mum.

Answer

Google The Smart Stepfamily. Her feelings are normal. Your responses will determine the outcome. The idea that you will come in between them is untrue. It's no different than an original nuclear family. Children don't come in between parents or vice versa...unless it's allowed or encouraged. Your relationship with your SO and his relationship with his daughter is not even close to the same. He should definitely find time to spend one on one with both of you separately. But...it's really not that different than if you were her bio mom. Each relationship should be respected.

step mom advice.....?

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