Okay sorry if this is to long ! So I had a rough childhood and I don't like to tell people because I feel like it's inconvenient for others since they have their own life and problems . So me , my twin sister and my brother (he's the eldest , my mom had him at 14) were originally being raised by my grandmother and grandfather (they're the most amazing people in the world ) but anyways my mom struggled a lot with drugs early on but eventually she just got hooked with pain pills . Anyways she started dating this guy and started trying to play mommy with me and my twin . So she moves us in with this really mean man that was very abusive and he had two other kids. Well he was very abusive physically and emotionally . They would both tell me and my twin that my whole family hates us and that we're very ugly and will never be anything .(started at about age 7) and that if we didn't call him dad then we would never be able to see my grand parents again .(they made us move with them to wa from ca ) once we moved to Washington they had a couple kids together and me and my twin were forced to raise them . Most days we weren't even allowed to go to school . We weren't allowed to have friends or we were accused of "being to grown" or "acting fast" I wasn't even allowed to look in the mirror . We didn't have any clothes . Like all of our clothes were ripped up or didn't even cover our tummies . We were forced to sleep in a cold basement and people that live in Washington know that your basement could get COLD ! And the worst part of it all is that they abused any animal we ever had. He use to step on the cats heads when he would get mad etc .. and we eventually moved to Nevada because cps was called and they didn't want us to get taken away . Once we moved again things got worse and his daughter moved in with us . He started punching us and slamming our heads into doors and stuff whenever he would get mad and his daughter started molesting me and he knew but they'd tell me " your mom said to test you and see if you let us do this to you and if you don't then that mean you're fucking men and we're going to beat the shit out of you" I was about 8 or 9 at this point . Eventually I got older and my mom left that man . Now she is a way better mom To my sisters but she REFUSES to tell the truth and tells everyone else that we are lying . It's just so hard to get over and I know I'm stupid because I have really bad anxiety over this but I feel like I need someone and I just don't know if a counselor even deals with these issues or if I'm on my own. Like idk what to do because I'm trying to come to terms with this but I don't know how and feel like I never will. I am 21 now and still struggling to even socialize normally . I know this has nothing to do with this app but I have no one else and I just need advice so if you have any at all I would appreciate it more than you can imagine ! And I put it anonymously because I'm embarrassed about being molested as a child .