Mother's Day after abortion

I'm 23 now... and last year in March at 22 I found out I was pregnant. Terminated the pregnancy in April 2016. This would've been my first Mother's Day. I cannot cope or handle. I had an abortion without wanting one.... I feel selfish but at the same time I was saving my own life from my family. My family always told me they'd kill me or disown me if I got pregnant against their will meaning before marriage and with a man they don't like. They hate Hispanic men and the man I married is a Hispanic immigrant.