3rd degree tear previously

Just wondering if any of you ladies had a 3rd degree tear on your previous births? I suffered one on my first, the birth was so traumatic it took me 5 years to even think about a second child. It took me over 18 weeks to heal, and i suffer with back problems from the sudden whoosh (ventouse delivery), and pelvic floor problems as in if i sneeze i pee, if i cough, i pee, etc etc! Was with my midwife on friday for my first clinic appointment, and she asked me how im feeling about birth this time round. I am terrified. She noted it down, and said you could possibly have a c section this time around, but if you want to try it yourself this time we will make sure we have an experienced midwife with you. My question is has anyone had a vaginal delivery after a bad tear? Did you tear again or suffer any problems since? Im so scared im loosing sleep over it!