Hey everyone!! I wanted to know how y'all feel about a certain topic. My therapist says I have PTSD revolving relationships from past experiences and this will hinder my current relationship. I'm in a serious spot right now with my so and we are really wanting a baby (like trying hard in september) and he really wants to get married. I'm super nervous about it because he has been married and had a child with someone else in the past. He was manipulated by religion to marry her and says it wasn't from the heart and the baby was because she decided to stop taking bc....my question for you ladies is....if you have been in this situation....how do you feel? I feel as if we have a baby or I get married it won't be special since he has already gone through it. I've said this to him before and he says I'm being silly and says that he's finally found the person he wants to be with. But as this makes me happy, I sit back and think....if I'm up there getting married will he be thinking of when he was getting married or if we are about to have a child and I'm in labour will he think about what it was like with her?

Side note: the other chick is super controlling ANF super psychotic....but the fact still remains that they've already done it and I feel like that's my experiences with him gone as he already did it....im working with my therapist because when I say this out loud it sound pathetic and stupid but when I'm festering about it all day every day it infuriates me that my first experiences that I've been looking forward to my whole life and now not going to be special and it's just gonna be something that "has to happen".

If you are still reading, Thanks, I appreciate it! Sorry for my rant but I've been really bothered by it lately!