Bored

Hey everyone!! I need some advice. So I have been with my husband 10 years. In the begining of our relationship he was an alcoholic. (Like drink till you pass out everyday kind of alcoholic. ) He has been sober for 7 years now. Sex in the begining wasnt great. I contributed it to the alcohol. Well 7 years sober and its still not great. I feel like he only cares about himself. He is not interested in any kind of forplay and is done when hes done no cuddling or anything and I'm SOL. I have bought toys and introduced them. Hes fine with me using them on myself but wont use them on me or help me get to a climax. I have to do it on my own. I honestly dont even think he knows or cares what I like and dont like. We have gotten into so many arguments about sex Im almost to the point of giving up on it all together. If I cant have the big O, hes not going to either. At least not with my help. He is a great guy otherwise. Always puts me and the kids first and does everything he can to make my everyday life easier. This is the only thing I would change about him. Im so frustrated and dont know what to do! Any ideas?