I don't think this is too much to ask. 

 

My family is dysfunctional. We are not super close at all. So keep that in mind. We aren't close. My mother is an alcoholic. Most of my aunts are the kind of women who hover and fuss over every little thing. I'm not entirely close with them, especially my mother, but I'm not rude to them either! 

 

I've been in the hospital now for observation because I'm high risk and am developing preeclampsia. My husband and I JUST moved into our house a week before I was put in the hospital. I worked really hard to clean it & put things where they need to go. Since being pregnant, it drives me crazy when things are dirty or out of sorts. We only have ONE bed, our bed. My fam lives an hour away. My mother TOLD me, she didn't ask, that she was taking off for a week after my baby is born. She assumes she is staying with me in my home, but I have not given her permission yet. (Personally I want that first week to be me and my husband ONLY.) Well, when we found out that I was going to stay in the hospital until I'm induced, I decided to inform my family of my conditions: 

 

1) No one is staying at my house while I'm not there. 

2) People are free to come and visit me on Friday, but no one will be allowed in the delivery room or to interrupt our new time as a family until after the golden hour. I even explained that doctors are pushing moms and dads to have that skin to skin bonding time. I even explained that I'm going to be breastfeeding and that first hour is going to be spent trying to get that going.  

3) Just my husband is the only person who will be in the delivery room. I could end up needing a c-section anyway and will only get one person. I want my husband to be that person. 

 

You would think I just asked my family to walk around Times Sqaure naked, like it's the most absurd, ridiculous thing in the word. Let me explain my reasons, not that I have to because it's MY birth. 

 

1) I don't want my fam (Mom, Dad, aunts, grandmother, cousins) to stay at my house because once they're there, THEY WILL NOT LEAVE. They will stay there and when we finally come home from the hospital they will still be there. I DO NOT want to entertain anyone, let alone family members who stress me out, belittle me, and drink more than they should before 12pm. This is my first kid. I want to come home to MY house with MY husband and have time for US! Just us! They only live an hour away. There is also a family member who lives in the same city I'm giving birth in and they could stay with her. (Is it typical for people to crash at the birth mom's house after she gives birth??)

 

2) Simple. My fam stresses me out. I'm being induced and have had a high risk pregnancy. I'm already stressed enough as it is & I should have complete control over who comes in and who doesn't come into the delivery room. It took us two years to conceive & I want to have plenty of time to bond, just the three of us, before everyone starts knocking down our door. 

 

3) I'm kind of a private person to begin with. I don't like the idea of people looking at my vagina while I'm giving birth. The only person I trust 100% is my husband and he's going to be there to hold my hand and cut the cord. My fam would be the ones taking pictures of me in excruciating pain or with my boobs hanging out and POSTING THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA. They know no boundaries. 

 

Is it so much to ask that we get some privacy in this extremely intimate, rare time in our lives? This is our first baby. Despite the fact that my mother and I aren't close and we have so many problems and she's an alcoholic, she's still just the grandmother. She doesn't get to be the first one to hold the baby. She doesn't get to take it home and raise it. It's *my* baby and for some reason no one gets that! Even the aunts are taking my mom's side and saying how awful I'm being (on social media). 🙄🙄🙄 I'm just so done. I wish they'd leave me alone. 

Edit: Texts from my mother today.