Tiny backstory ... My FIL divorced my MIL when my husband was young, he left for another woman, he never paid child support and only took his two sons very occasionally.

Two weekends from now is father's day. My mother asked my husband and I to come to their trailer (1 hr away) for dinner (maybe to stay over) to celebrate. We said yes.

We see my parents all the time as they live 10 mins away from us.

My FIL lives in Florida (we are in Canada). He called two days ago and told us he booked a flight and he is coming down that same weekend with his wife. So I told my mother we would come for dinner Sunday night but we couldn't stay over. My mom is fine with that.

When my husband told my FIL that we had dinner plans Sunday night he went totally insane (I told my husband that we can invite them to dinner, my parents don't care). Called us ungrateful, threatened to cut us off (he has a lot of money and occasionally buys us things), called my parents not supportive (they have 3 children and cannot afford to buy us gifts all the time) and essentially said if we don't cancel our plans he won't be involved with us. We see this as a threat but we are not financially dependant on my FIL so we don't care if he cuts us off.

I do feel bad, he is coming a long way, but I also already told my mom I would be at dinner (my parents support us emotionally and they LOVE my husband). Its not my fault he booked a flight without talking to us. I don't think spending one evening without us would be a big deal ... His wife will be here.

What would you do? I don't know how to feel. We have a daughter, I don't want her to not know her grandpa