Sorry it's so long: In 2015 i met a guy on the app meet me. A few days later I met him in a small store in his town and I made sure I was comfortable with him. I told my grandparents that I was going to a co workers to watch movies. Before I get to far yes I know that allot of this should have been red flags for me, so don't get on my case about it. I have allot of mental blockage issues so please refrain from being that person. I drove to his house at which I couldn't find because we agreed that I would get there at 10pm. I had to call him to have him come outside and show me where to go. I parked and locked my car and followed him inside. All of the lights were off and he had to guide me upstairs to his bedroom. He told me to be quiet because his parents were asleep (he was 26, I was 22). We got to his room and i stood there with my bag of movies (we had agreed to cuddle and watch a movie), I stood there in the cheetah print leggings that he requested I wear. He had had 5 beers at hiss brothers party but he seemed ok. He chose the movie the call because I told him it freaked me out. I took off my shoes and stood there. He asked if I was going to join him in the bed and asked which side I wanted to be on. I shrugged my shoulders and chose the outside. He put the movie In and snuggled next to me. Within 20 minutes I see him get on top of me and he starts making out with me. After a bit I pull away and say you don't want to watch the movie? He says yes but I like this more. He proceeds to kiss me again and pulls the covers off of me. He's already in his boxer shorts. He takes my clothes off (some of the details are kinda foggy) and proceeds to go down on me. Then he starts coming towards me and I Ask him if were going to have sex. He stops and looks at me and I say I'm a virgin. He just kinda looks at me Like it's a horrible thing and then continues towards me. I stop him and tell him about my almost closed vagina and he puts his finger near my vagina and tries to push in. I say stop. It hurts and he keeps going. I get louder and tell him to stop and grab his arms and say it hurts. He then proceeds to try to stick his dick in the same place and I again tell him how much it hurts and tell him to stop. He does and he says in guessing you won't want to help me out as he wiggles it in my face. I take it in my mouth and begin to suck but then he pushes me down on the bed and tries to push it deeper into my throat. I can't say no so I try to pull away and move my head so it goes into my cheek, after no success from him he pulls it out and tells me to get on my back. I am very confused but I comply. Then he proceeds to get on top of me and before I knew it he was sticking it inside of my asshole. His legs and arms have me pinned to the bed and I'm trying to wriggle my way out but he won't let me. I tell him no no stop it but he just pets my back and says it's ok it will feel good, he proceeds to have sex with my asshole. By this point I have said no stop it it hurts and trying to get up so much that I'm in tears from the pain and fear and just the fact that he won't listen. He says he's so close and I keep telling him to stop. He finally stops after he comes, pulls out, finally gets off of me and goes into the bathroom to clean up. I get up and get dressed and sit on the bed. He comes Back in the room and sits on the end of the bed and I'm near the head, we sit in silence as the movie finishes and he says he has work in the morning and so I take my movie and Ask him to help me back outside. Reluctantly he guides me outside and I turn around and kiss him. Then he goes back inside and I get in my car and text him the next day. I never heard from him again. He made me feel so special and made it seem like he liked me. I didn't realize it was rape until a few days later. I reported it to the cops with the help of my sister and I went to the emergency room but it was to late for a rape kit. The only on call doctor was a man and as his hand touched my inner thigh I completely lost. I yanked my legs together and just bawled and shaking. My sister hugged me and the doctor and nurses left. That's when it finally hit me. After that I put myself into a free situations where I could have been easily raped again. Fast forward to this year 2017. I got a call for a preliminary trial for my rapist a few months Ago. I went there with my husband expecting to testify but instead the defense attorney wanted him to plead guilty to aggravatedassault and battery and not plead guilty to the 3 counts rape against me. I didn't want that but the prosecutor didn't listen to me. I sat in the courtroom after that and listened to them talk about the next court And such. His girlfriend and parents were in there and when he stood up I looked straight down. My husband made direct eye contact with him. Come to find out my rapist didn't end up officially pleading guilty to the aggravated assault and battery. So now I'm waiting for everything in my case And I'm freaking out about it still. They have his seamen in my clothes and call records and message records from that week. I'm going to call the prosecutor on Monday to get an update. I'm scared to death he won't get convicted like I wnt him to. I wnt him to be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life, I want him to pay for what he did to me physically and emotionally. I went to therapy and was on antidepressants but I still need so much help. I'm scared he won't very convicted, I'm scared he will go free, I'm scared he won't pay. Idk whay to do anymore. My husband has been an amazing support but it's still so hard. I'm so sorry this post was this long... I just needed to get this out 😢😦☹