why is everything bad !!

Jessie • Stay at home Mom to a wonderful daughter. Married to my best friend. After 4 years TTC 4 rounds of IVF proud twin boy mama. Loving life each day as it comes.
I am trying my best to eat healthy and not gain a lot of weight like I did with my DD (75 pounds) I never lost her weight. As I am drinking my protien shake i Google if the muscle milk was ok. And of course it's not. I've been drinking the powdered shakes when I was working out. I stopped drinking them probably 2 months ago. I am currently 5 weeks 3 days. Well the metal content is super high and not good or pregnant women as I just drank half of one 😞 why is everything bad so frustrating