Dies the nightmare ever end?

Question

I miscarried last week at just under 9 weeks. No signs of issues, everything seemed to be going good, we were excited- then last Wednesday happened! I get it what's happened is done and there's nothing I can do to bring that baby back, however I just want to "wake up" and go back to being the old me... before I got pregnant before I miscarried... I have had the urge to run away since it all started, I am tired of being sad, I hate that I turn around in the store and see some beautiful pregnant woman standing there and I immediately dislike her! This is not me - I'm genuinely a happy go lucky person who lets things roll off my back but I feel like I'm on a repeating nightmare that plays night after night! I don't want to go to sleep because I feel like I'll have a dream about that baby, I don't want to cry anymore, I just want my old self back! I feel for the ladies who've been through this multiple times as you are way stronger than me! Any advice on coping or just making it out of this rut?

Answer

Oh hunny. I'm so sorry you're going through this. So very sorry.

I'm going through the same thing. Missed miscarriage and we had the D&C last week; just about 11 weeks. First pregnancy after TTC for 16 months. Ugh.

I wish I had some kind of advice for you but I dont. Just know that you're not alone and everything you're feeling is normal. Gotta get through it to get through it. One day you'll feel relatively normal, then the next will hit you like a wave of grief and anger and that's OK. There is no road map on this stuff.

Do you have a support system at home? People you can talk with and can be there for you?

Answer

I was at the exact same stage as you and I have the same happy go lucky personality I still find it so hard to deal with the awful stomach churning pains of jealousy when I see any mum to be with her beautiful baby bump

Answer

I feel the exact same way. I found out yesterday and how convenient, there was a new mom and her newborn in the ER that just kept walking by me, I honestly had the urge to tell her to go the f*** away. But I just got up and moved. It's only day 2 after loss and I already feel what you're feeling. I don't feel like myself and I don't want to leave the house... If you want anyone to talk to, I'm happy to be here for you.

Answer

I am in the same boat. I just had my second MC in March. I don't necessarily get angry at those pregnant, but I find myself comparing where I would be in mg pregnancy if my baby was still here. I have learned and am still learning that comparison robs you of a lot more than it helps. I believe everyone deals with this type of loss differently and only you can determine what works best for you. Take all of the time you need and don't let anyone tell you you're grieving wrong. I will say though focus on those things that used to make you happy and/or channel the negative energy feeling into working out, finding a new hobby, etc. I pray your time will come 🙏🏾

Answer

Hey Kasie. We miscarried around the same time, of course you were further along than I was, but this helped me. I was really sad for about a week and would still touch my abdomen as of the baby was there. What I did is that I made a special box with the positive pregnancy test and the shoes I used to announce to my SO and wrote a letter to my baby. I expressed how happy we was that he/she was on the way and what dreams I had for the baby. Then I felt the need to apologize so I did. But I also said "until later" and wrote that I would be strong for him/her and that I won't give up because he/she would have also wanted a strong mommy. I keep that box to "remember" my baby. It helped me turn the page but it gave me a tangible item to let me "turn back" when I needed. Slowly I have managed to look back more often as I get busy with work and other activities. I'm really sorry again for your loss and I hope that you may find peace. It will take time. Be patient with yourself. 🤗❤️ hugs your way.

Answer

Thanks so much for all the kind words! I'm trying, still cry, but I'm ok! I'll get happy again- it's just gunna take time I suppose

Dies the nightmare ever end?

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