Ok. I moved not long ago and despite best efforts, it's natural I think for some of your friends to not have time to keep in touch. That said, my only real contact from before besides my SO and my family is my best friend of 10 years. Fast forward.

My best friend Kate has been chasing this girl for a few years. The girl, we will call her Ann, has made it abundantly clear that she's heterosexual, not even curious, but has kept the friendship with Kate. Ann had a baby in September and Kate informed mr last week that she's pregnant again with a taken man's baby. Dramatic, but whatever. So suddenly Ann has taken an interest in Kate who is now at her apartment night and day helping her with her baby, around the house, whatever she needs. Ann doesn't work, but to her credit she's enrolled for fall in school so I guess she's trying. She told Kate she wanted to exercise her rights to choose and have an abortion because she doesn't want to mess up a marriage, nor does she feel like she can properly care for her current infant and go to school and bring another life into this world. I'm pro-choice as far as politics go.

Suddenly, it's Kate, I need 1200 dollars where am I going to get the money etc etc. She had Kate hit up the dude who's now trying to discreetly sell some of his stuff like Xbox and whatever to get her cash. I was like what's up with that price and Kate says she's 16 weeks so it's more expensive. I just thought damn, that's all the way past the first trimester how long has she known and Kate says she's not sure but she told her in April. I was like why suddenly then and Kate says the girl just wants to go to school and raise her son and wants to try being in a relationship with Kate. I said wait wait wait. This girl won't even let you hold her hand as friends when did this change happen and Kate says she doesn't know. I said has the relationship been changing and she said Ann sends her seductive pics but doesn't feel that it's right about them getting physical while she's still pregnant. I said Kate have you been paying her bills? Well...just a few, she says. And I said how much of this procedure are you paying for and she said half because they don't believe it should only be on the father. So I'm just sitting here thinking dude..shes using you.

Now they want to stay in my house the week they have the abortion because they still live 3 hrs away in the sticks. They want to bring her baby and have me watch him while she terminates her pregnancy. Some people would say well what's the problem here? I had a MC with a D&C last fall and frankly I'm still pretty much super sad about it. I go to therapy and my SO and I are trying again but sometimes the sad just stays. So now not only so I feel like this girls taking my friend for a ride but I feel uncomfortably dragged into it. They want to impose on my husband and I for the night before, the day of, the night of, and then leave the next afternoon. I just said why can't you stay in a hotel and Kate said that Ann doesn't want to impose on her financially anymore than she already has. They just want to impose on me. I told Kate I'd have to talk to my SO about it and she said his opinion doesn't equate into this women's issue and that I was being a bad feminist. Its his house too...

Needless to say I'm a little more than peeved because every part of this weird tangle of a story feels like a thinly veiled manipulation and I also feel like my feelings and experience are being put on the backburner because my friend thinks she's finally going to land a relationship with this girl who's been a little shady in my opinion. Anyways. Does it make me a bad feminist that I don't want to babysit a baby I've never met while my friend brings a girl I barely know into my home to have a medical procedure done that I still have nightmares about? If I'm being too sensitive I'll try to step up but this sucks.