Miscarriage Pt 2- How do you even DEAL?!

Question

Backstory: I found out last Wednesday that I would begin miscarrying, after ttc for a year. Sure enough, things started happening on Saturday & we were devastated. The doctors were cold hearted, unfeeling, horrible people, but I've been getting through it with 2 days of pain meds and my amazing husband.
Today's the first day that he's been back to work and I'm struggling y'all. Not gonna lie. I feel so... empty... like I don't even know what to do with myself now that I'm not planning for our baby anymore. I'm trying to stay busy, but I'm still physically going through things and I'm weak and exhausted. (My friend suggested that I go running to get things to finish faster. Whatever.) Anyway, I need suggestions. How did you guys cope??

Answer

Time! Allow yourself to hurt, cry don't hold anything in , communicate with your husband , talk about feelings. It is okay to rememebr your little angel too

I wish I had more to tell u. We are all here for you 😚😚😚😚

Answer

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been there (repeatedly).

It helped me to talk to other women who have been through it too. I talked to my husband, since they were his losses, too. But that just didn't compare to the girl talk. I needed to talk to someone who understood that something had "died inside of me and I was a failure."

Everyone wanted to tell me that it just wasn't in God's plan or that everything happens for a reason. And I was not interested in hearing ANY of that $hit. It probably sounds silly, but I needed to be angry and petty about it. I needed to decline shower invitations and not like Facebook announcements. I'm human, after all.

It was a long process for me. And to be honest, it may not be over. But I've decided to give myself all the time I need and to talk openly about pregnancy loss when the opportunity presents itself. I know now that we are not failures and I refuse to let the stigma of miscarriage force me to suffer alone.

One day, I'll probably get a tatoo something like this.

Answer

Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. I understand exactly how you're feeling, my husband and I had been trying for two years and lost our first at 10w last October with a missed mc. It shook me the core, and I don't say lightly that I was absolutely devasted.

Allow yourself to grieve and time to heal, and don't hesitate to lean on loved ones offering support. For me, my husband was my rock. He never wavered, even tho he was hurting too. So we got past it together, but I lived every day with doubting and not trusting my body, and I was admittedly very bitter and jealous of those who were able to effortlessly conceive. I stress ate and gained about 40lbs, when I should have been taking the time to get healthy and exercise!

What they say about fertility after a pregnancy is true, and you and your SO can start trying again as soon as you feel ready! Five short  months later I got my BFP with my rainbow baby and I'm 17w with a healthy boy.

I wish you all the luck and healing your body and heart needs, it will grow easier with time, even if it doesn't seem so right now. ❤️

Answer

I pretty  much just accepted the  fact  that my body knew what it was doing, most early m/c are due to chromosomal  abnormalities. And Id rather my body take care of it, then find out after birth.  
But i decided  to go directly  to a d/c instead  of passing naturally.  It clears  out everything.
Now, not sure you're going  to care to hear it, but you're extremely  fertile  following a m/c.  I was ttc for over a year when that happened.

Answer

Totoally understand this, it still upsets me thinking about mine and realizing I would be due in just 10 days, but after some time and crying and just letting it all out you try and think positively. Everything happens for a reason. I worked at a daycare and going back to work was heartbreaking! Here if you need to talk, keep your head up! I'm now 20w with a baby girl keep faith❤️

Answer

It's all about time. I miscarried an unplanned pregnancy at 16 years old. I remember crying in the shower praying that it was just a different issue or that I had twins and one survived or something . I missed school for at least a week. It is hard momma you just cry when you need and do what you can to get through. Don't lie to yourself that you feel better and be honest with your SO. My boyfriend definitely got through it quicker than I did but for the mom it is different there is a huge surge of emotions not to mention the hormones . Thinking of you 💕

Answer

Nothing but time will help. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings you're having. Take it one day at a time and be easy on yourself. Don't run! You need to heal and it won't help. Talk with your husband and be there for each other right now. I won't say the pain goes away but you'll kinda become numb to it after awhile.

Miscarriage Pt 2- How do you even DEAL?!

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