One little thing (long read, I just needed to vent)
Last week was a rough one. I had to deal with a ton of work drama and that is making the clinic tense (nothing to do with me thank god). On top of this we are dealing with not knowing if I had a chemical or if there is still a bean as I keep getting faint positives. Basically I feel very pregnant with nothing to show for it. We are waiting to see if AF arrives this month ti decide our course of action. As I was explained to my husband I am wound so tight right now, it's going to take one tiny thing to make me loose my shit.
I was so sad just handing my husband a Father's Day gift from my son, when all I wanted was to have that VFL turn into a BFP. I cried before leaving the house and the entire way to work.
Work was pretty uneventful, it was the last day of my 4 day rotation. I was looking forward to Father's Day dinner with my inlaws (yes i am one of those people who love my inlaws).
My sister in law was wayyy to eager to hand out Father's Day gifts. As all the dads opened their cards I got my one little thing. She is pregnant. Not to mention due around the same time I will/ would be if by some mericle I am still pregnant and didn't suffer a chemical.
I quickly excused myself saying I just remembered I hadn't gone to the restroom all day (fellow nurses will understand). Once there I lost it only to realize if I balled my eyes out it would be obvious. I then had to sit for the next 4 hours and hear nothing but baby talk and me pushing my sads into the pit of my stomach.
I'm currently still so emotionally numb from the whole ordeal I have yet to cry.
Thank god for my wonderful husband. This man is my rock and kept me steady even though he wasn't doing much better.
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