My boyfriend and I broke up after Val day

Not sure what to do because my boyfriend and I broke up after Valentines Day over some issues we disagreed about. I have been faithful to him for two years but since the beginning he was the one who began the relationship and through out the time had been breaking things off. I got so depressed from him being emotionally closed off from idea of marriage that I got angry at him for having no concideration for my feelings of wanting a family: I feel really pathetic. I know I deserve better behavior and love, but I'm emotionally still feeling that he's the only one despite us being apart. I can't change him and his own depression, mood swings etc. are rocky for me but I don't know why I'm still thinking of him at times. He was married and divorced before. I try to forgive but I don't know how to move on (emotionally falling in love with him was the highlight of my last two years.) I am sad without him but seem to be doing somewhat ok, just very challenging because I get very lonely without him since he was my best friend for nearly two years. I need help of some sort of moving my life forward. It's hard because his circle of friends doesn't speak to me at all. Wish I could enjoy my life. Been praying for faith and help. We're both in 30s so I had hoped he'd get on board with marriage and becoming parents with me.