how long do I have to wait?!

Question

Weve been dating for seven years, we have a great relationship, we rarely argue, were goofy and affectionate, get along great, I have zero problems other than the fact that I want more. Even the idea of us moving in together is like yanking out his danm teeth, he says hes not ready and I can tell that it the idea of sharing his space legit freaks him out but I dont know how much longer I can wait...any ideas ladies?

Answer

In my opinion, seven years is a long time to be with someone and not know whether or not you want to make a life with them. I mean, he could just be the type of person who really likes his own private space, but in that case you have to figure out if it's more important for you to make a life together with someone, or to love this person as he is, even knowing that he doesn't want to make a life together with you. He wants you each to have separate lives. Truth be told, you could be waiting forever. You have to decide what's important and best for you. Don't waste too much time of your life on someone who does not want the same things as you. Believe me when I tell you that there is someone out there that you would love and Who will love you in return so much that he will not be afraid to make a life with you.

Answer

I wouldn't have even waited that long. If someone doesn't want to commit to me after a few years, whether that's moving in together, getting engaged/married, or making plans I'm not going to waste my time. It sucks but it sounds like he doesn't want to be committed. After almost a decade he would know if there is a future for the both of you. You can't wait another 7 years to move forward. Being in a relationship doesn't have a time line but there should be steps towards cementing a future together and that hasn't happened. I would sit down and have a talk with him and explain that you want more. If he can't give that to you, ask yourself if you want to live separately from your SO for an undetermined amount of time, or if you need to end the relationship. Again, it sucks, but you need to be happy. I would even take a few days of no contact after the conversation (if he can't commit) to show him what it would be like without you and to really think about what you want. You might love him no part of you should be unhappy with your relationship.

Answer

I think age and maturity are going to impact this decision and finances should be considered as well! Is he "not ready" because he's living with parents and going to school... and maybe still figuring out his future career? I do think there's benefit to each person figuring out themselves out before moving forward in their relationship.

Answer

Thats a really long time to just be "dating" imo its time to shit or get of the pot. You have to decide if you are gonna possibly wait another 7years to see if hes gonna move forward with you. I couldnt wait i always wanted a family and to be married. Its clear hes not wanting to change so maybe its gonna be all up to you.

Answer

My husband and I had been talking for a few months via texting while he was deployed, dates for 3 months, were engaged for 4 months and have now been married for almost a year. He had been previously married; his divorce was only official for about 4 months when we started dating, and he told me right after it was official he didn't think he's ever want to be married again. And you see how that worked out.

I feel you this to tell you, that when you know you want to be with someone, you will know and make that happen. If you have been together that long,  and he is aware of what you want to happen in your relationship, but isn't making it happen... it sounds like that's not what he wants.

Have you read He's Just Not That Into You? When I was single, I took that book as the dating bible. It makes a lot of sense, and I'd  highly suggest reading it.

PS there have been many studies that say couples who live together before marriage are 50% more likely to get divorced than those who don't. Just food for thought.

how long do I have to wait?!

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