I feel like a horrible person and I don't know how to ease the guilt. Can someone give me advice with no judgment ? I am completely in the wrong and I need to fix what I said.

I smoke cigarettes. I know it's an unhealthy disgusting habit and I should quit, but I'm addicted to them none the less. The same goes for coffee. When I wake up in the morning, I have a cup of coffee and i smoke a cigarette. My boyfriend absolutely hates it! Well I go with him to mow lawns every day and before we left I asked him to stop by a store so I could grab a pack since it would be a few hours before we could go to the store again.. he bypasses all the stores and goes straight to the yard. I asked him why he did that knowing it'd be hours before we went back and he said "you can wait, ur addicted asf and shouldnt have to start ur day with coffee and cigarettes" and proceeded to laughed at me. He's 100% right and it made me feel horrible about myself which is why I lashed back at him. As he was walking away I blurted out "the least u can do is let me smoke and drink some coffee since u couldn't even make me cum this morning!!"

He slowly turned around and got back in the truck and took me to the store. That genuinely punched him in the gut. I said it because I wanted to make him feel bad like me made me feel bad.. but I shouldn't have went THERE. I told him I was sorry and he said it's okay in a way calmer tone than u could imagine(which is really weird for him).. I want to fix it... how do I go about this one ladies??