I don't know where to start because all my nerves are getting the better of me ! 

Last year we found out we were expecting our second child who would of been born next month however late February this year we found the baby's heat stoped beating and had a missed miscarriage... my doctor at the time suggest that I let it past naturally and so weeks went on with bleeding for three weeks leading us including my doctor to believe that the baby had passed a month went on and I stared having pregnancy symptoms so I decided to do a test out of curiosity which then lead to two postive pregnancy test the first ultrasound showed left over fluid .. the second ultrasound showed left over tissues however on the third ultrasound it showed that the baby and placenta where still all inside ... this is after I had requested my doctor four times to send me for an ultrasound after the misscargie and going to get a second opion which resulted in me receiving an ultrasound with apparently only left over fluid ... after receiving these results back I was booked in the get a d & c after having my first d & c I was back in hospital after two days of leaving only to find out that there was still remains tissues now growing into my uterus walls and was booked into have a second d & c put this time the cut into my uterus and had left quite signification scaring.. results comes back and it was a partial molar pregnancy meaning that for the next year I would be getting blood test to make sure that it wouldn't turn into cancer ...  so changing doctors for a third time and finding one who was head of the hospital has given me hope again and has advise that we try to convince imedintly as I am most fertile now and the chances of it happening further down the track would be very unlikely mind you I'm only 23.. 

so now I'm obsessing about trying to get pregnant stressing every second testing like crazy and everytime I see that negative line I go into a depressed state of not wanting to move becuase my heart is aching for the baby I loss and the ones I won't be able to have I don't know if it's my hormones that are making me like this or this is just a normal reaction I've been blessed with one beautiful baby already and I know I should be so grateful for her and I'm truly blessed but even she is longing for a sibiling and me and my partner have so much more love to give and having a ten year age gap between us is putting my husband In a stressed state to have more babies as well .. sorry for the long vent but I just needed to get it all out