I was seeing plus signs now im seeing zeros. This is my second miscarriage. I'm more sad now than I was before. Baby #1 was unplanned but shortly after I found out I miscarried. Of course I was sad, I was pregnant and then I wasn't. Baby #2 was planned. All seemed promising with baby #2. I woke up with extreme cramps and bleeding and found out baby #2 is gone. I have never hated myself so much in my entire life. Why is my body doing this to me. Why can't I have a baby. I was so happy I was finally going to be able to hold my bundle of joy I even started planning how things would be like and then out of no where it hit me. I'm not going to have a little me in my hands. I'm going to be crying and trying to coupe with the reality of the situation. I have never had anything I've wanted so much before and it was ripped from my hands. It feels like torture. I know all I can do is try to get over it and try again. But I never thought I would even have 2 of my babies die at my age. Yes I'm young. Yes I have plenty of time to try again. But I don't want to try again. I just wish everything happened right the first time and didn't tumble down the mountain.