Is he bad for me? (UPDATE)

Question

So, first of all, thank you SO MUCH to all of the people who answered my poll. I got a HUGE amount of help and feedback, and i feel like I've got a greater point of view over the situation now. 
I wanted to thank every single one of you, who wrote one of the 341 comments (that's crazy), but it was simply too much! So I'm gonna do it here. I'm sooo happy that you all understand my situation, and I'm really glad that some gave me a lil' punch in the face to help me realize I should slow down. I'm overwhelmed by all of the support I've gotten, and I've also been inspired by your stories, to how I should make my way. I'm also extremely thankful for the one who stood up for me, when I didn't know what to say.

Well, but I talked to my bff, who was there that night (the one who's dating my crush(ish)). And we really got to figure out, how I was. And we came to the conclusion that no, I did not feel anything for the guy who touched me. I just wasn't used to be feeling loved, or appreciated (even though his was the wrong way, and not even meant to be taken that way) 
In my everyday life, I don't let people (especially myself) love me. I'm afraid to open up, and to trust, because I'm used to being played with, to the point where I believe that's what I deserve. To the point where i do not get mad, at ANYTHING. She, and you guys, helped me realize I'm worth so much more. 
She has never stabbed me in the back, but I'm still afraid to trust, and I hope that i one day will. 
I now know what I deserve, and that wasn't how I was treated that night.
What happened that night was wrong, but it was just a wrong place, wrong time. I will ONLY do what i'm comfortable doing. And she's promised to help me with that as well.
I hope and pray, that the lord will send luck my way.

I still do have a question.
She knows about my self harm and Ed etc. 
They do aswell. 
She's going on vacation for a month, and i know I'll probably get worse, as i don't have anyone to talk to. As for the two other guys, i will want to hang out with them, but again, im a peoplepleaser, and ill worry what they'll think. 
I hate that these things has taken such a big part of me, but i don't feel like burdening them. 
And i know, most of you will be like" they don't deserve you" but It's just my own confidence bringing me down.

Again thank you, ALL OF YOU
For the amazing feedback!❤️

Love
-Sarah

Answer

While your friend is away, maybe you can check out other people you haven't considered to be friends. Maybe you can also make friends that you will be in classes with in high school. I'm sure one of your crew members has a younger sibling you could like. I'm not telling you to dump your friends though. If you want, we can just be friends

Answer

Bless you ❤️ you're an amazing girl Sarah! I think while your friend is away maybe you can find other people to hang out with? If not like others have said, make friends on here? My instragram is @charmainemcewan if you wanna follow me x

Answer

Sarah i think it's amazing that you have this much self realization at this stage in your life. It's a huge step to acknowledge depression and reasons behind underlying issues. I went through a lot of this stuff and counseling helped me a lot. I had a lot of support from loving people, but it was never enough and will never be enough. You have to have self confidence and trust in yourself. Even if you can't talk to a parent I would recommend you ask if you can attend counseling. I think it would help you a lot and give you the ability to thrive in your life. Again, I'm so proud of you and sending all my love and vibes to you as you've made the very best of this difficult situation.

Answer

Sarah, I am very proud of you. Making that realization at such a young age is hard but extremely worth it. You'll be glad you did it in a few years time. While your friend is away, I see nothing wrong with you hanging out with those two guys, but be firm on where your boundaries are. Sometimes that will mean you have to leave the situation if they push you to that point. Keep being strong and being you!! Much love ❤️💜💙

Answer

Will be praying for you darling! 💕💕

Answer

Click on my profile, if you havent Read the two other posts❤️

Is he bad for me? (UPDATE)

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