Does he have a problem???
Ok so long story short, my partner of 7 years broke up with me 3 months ago. We have been going through a very bad stage. First year we was together it was amazing he showed me love and affection and he treated me like a lady. Then after i was in the wrong and I lied to him saying I slept with someone else when I didn't. I know it was horrible, I did it because my ex was playing mind games with me (we broke up 5 months beforehand) saying he wanted me back and he was sorry (he abused me mentally, verbally and physically) Ive never had a man loving me. My biological dad left when I was 2 years old and I haven't spoken or seen him since.
So now a few years on my current ex is using that as an excuse, he's saying how he doesn't trust me. Although I don't go out, I have no friends (to prove he could trust me and I only wanted him) Yet since I was with him he cheated on me more that 3 times, he talks to other women, yet I wasn't allowed to talk to a guy, he disrespected me he excepts me to be at home cooking and cleaning and looking after the kids. There's so much gone on between us that we become toxic I know.
Yesterday was my birthday, yesterday was also the day I found out he has been talking to another woman, although I've let him stay in the house because he has nowhere to stay, he lost his job and he has nothing (he's suppose to be moving out) He says he loves me and maybe one day in the future we will be together again, but right now he doesn't want to try and make us work and go for counselling. He wants to get it out of his system and shag around and see if another relationship will be different.
I'm hurting. If anyone knew how much I love this guy and want to make things work and would do anything to make it work. He says things like if I loved him I would let him do anal and I would deep throat 🙄I feel like it doesn't matter what I want or how I feel I have to please him and him only. But yet again I still love him. Like a fool. I can't believe he will hurt me this way and feel the need to stick his dick in another woman just for fun. He should of thought about that before we moved in together and had kids etc. He wants me to treat him like a man but yet he doesn't act like it. So how can I? I really don't know what to think, he's suppose to be moving out but when is another question.
I hate myself he's made me feel so low and shit about myself yet I still love him. Like I'm hoping for him to change or realise he's made a mistake and come back. I don't know. I just needed to rant my head is full of questions. He won't tell me about the other woman he just says it's best I don't know and only if it's serious he will tell me. I've been crying like a fool I feel so empty and lost. I don't even think he knows how he feels. Sorry for the long essay. I just feel like I have no one to talk to 😭😭😭😭😭
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