To All Trans, How do you know you're Trans?¿

Question

I Don't mean to offend anyone but this has been bothering my hubby especially with the rise of "trans trenders/special snowflakes.

Online he keeps a low profie and most people see him as cis male, when he asks other trans on how they know they're trans, he gets the cookie cutter " I feel I am male" even tho the person they ask is cis female and acts/presents as female or the "I like doing/wearing *typically male thing*. Same thing goes for the responses he gets from some Transfemales, some just feel like they are just crossdressing or have a complex. They don't fully explain why they are trans, and to some cis people "I feel" isn't a good answer.

He wants an honest answer, please
 *Things we both know*
- feminine trans men / masculine trans women do exist.
- PCOS can make a female think they are trans
-Hormones are large part in trans identity
- People do de-transition (why?)
-Intersex people who don't get to choose their identy as a child do so later in life.
- Brains scans on trans people do indicate that it reacts the same way as their cis counterpart. Cis male - transmale. Cis female- trans female 
- dysphoria is needed to be trans
- Some Trans people can Feel parts that they do not posess (Phantom orifices and appendages)
- Doing drag is not Trans but can be an outlet for people who are Transitioning.
- Genderfluidity is a type of trans but is seperate from being trans female/male.

Things about my partner
°Pre-op trans.
°Has a higher level of natural testerone. -he can grow a little soul patch and stache-
°He didn't know he was trans till he reached sexual maturity, as a child he thought he was just strange, did not like things geared towards girls.
° Originally thought he was gay.
°Has very male mannerisms, in thinking and how he acts.
° Has a desire to impregnate me.?!?

Answer

Typically it's just as irrelevent to ask how I know I'm trans as it is for me to ask someone else how they know they're cis (or heterosexual, or both).  I am a trans woman and never felt like a "guy" growing up. I know others sense that and ridiculed me accordingly. I'm 50 now and last year I decided not to live a lie just to please others. Now I am Dakota Anne-Marie North and I live as myself for myself.

Answer

Gender identity is just that- an identity. Just like being someone who is an athlete or an activist or a mother or a performer or a writer or an empath or an introvert, or a nature lover: These are all parts of what makes us feel like ourselves. It’s the parts of us that we feel pride and joy and self expression. Identity is who you are and how you would like to be treated, how you would like to be seen, how you express yourself- How you fall in love with who you are. How others show love is in their ability to see who you are and celebrate it with you! We live in a society that generally restricts self expression and identity through shaming people for certain ways of being, and celebrating those that meet beauty standards. We have some people who are born into cultural norms where identity is not a choice- and the penalty for self expression may be hatred, violence or even death. We have people clinging to a medical/scientific binary that takes away the complexity of human sexuality and gender and self expression by asking humans to identify strictly with their biological function to reproduce. For some, a biological function to reproduce doesn’t really mean much to them at all. Being able to reproduce is a function of being human just like eating for sustenance is. I define my identity by what makes me feel joyful and alive! Whether that means full male expression or full female expression for some people, that is their form of self expression. That goes for anyone regardless of whether or not they are trans. But for some- gender identity might mean some mix of traits, identifying with some characteristics more than others. Some people feel that identifying certain traits as ‘male’ or ‘female’ is a hugely constructed concept in itself. The beauty of self expression comes in freedom to be one’s self and have others love and respect that about you. I believe that is what defines gender identity.

Answer

Almost everything you said you know is wrong......

Answer

The truth is that only they can make that decision. There is no right way to answer this. You can be who ever you want to be, its not black and white, there are all sorts of inbetweens. You know you're trans because you say you are. That's the only answer. There's no medical test or magic eight ball into the trans world.

To All Trans, How do you know you're Trans?¿

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey