Does your SO enjoy rough sex a lot?

I'm writing this anonymously because I don't want to embarrass my husband. We've been together for 15 years and it wasn't always like this. Every time we have sex he wants me to put an outfit on, thong, heels, douse me in oil or a whole list of things I couldn't fit here. Sometimes I just want to relax kiss and I dunno sounds corny writing but "make love" I don't always want my ass spanked my hair pulled, again I can go on. Sometimes I wonder it's because we've been together so long he just wants to explore, or recently I've been worried he's getting to many ideas off porn sites, I worry he can't get off unless I'm doing some raunchy shit, and I don't want it to always be like that. I love his attention, I love that he wants me, he loves my body, but how do I tell a very sensitive sometimes insecure man to tone it down a little?