Depressed

I just realized that i haven't spent any holidays with my boyfriend of 2 & a half years this year. We don't live together. And each time it had to do with us fighting or not getting along. We didn't spend our two year anniversary together in the beginning of the year and that broke me the most. We didn't get each other anything. It was like another day. We didn't even spend Valentine's Day together, he didn't get me anything either. And now we're not spending the fourth of July together. Holidays come once a year and it's just really depressing not having the person who is supposed to love me the most by my side.