Since i was about 10 years old ive bee struggling with severe ptsd, bipolar, major depressive disorder, and anxiety. I had an extremely hard childhood After many years of therapy, blow outs, suicidal situations, near death experiences, facing my problems and more ive been able to get to a point where i can finally function and control my disorders without medication. Im 6 months pregnant currently and my emotions are all hormonally screwed up. Ive gone through various phases, extreme anger, nonstop crying, and now anxiety. This phase is a new one, every night i get anxiety non stop worrying about 100s of things i cant fix at the moment. I try to stop trying to distract my mind but i simply can not stop it until im so worn out and stressed i fall asleep around 11-1am. My SO has been a trooper through most of this. I cant help but feel he just doesnt know or understand what it means to be with someone who is emotionally and mentally screwed up. He thinks that there always has to be a cause or reason for these emotional problems and is always angry thinking i just dont want to tell him why. Honestly there is no reason small things can trigger a different emotion. Instead of comforting me or trying to atleast pretend to be understanding he makes me feel worse, i always tell him if you cant handle me maybe we shouldn't be together (weve been together 2 years and he knows of my past and causes of these illnesses). For example this is the second night i lay in bed crying from the overwhelming anxiety he wakes up sees me crying and starts yelling at me about how its not his fault (i had asked him earlier to stay up and talk to me but he was really tired and fell asleep and i totally understand and am not upset) assuming that i was upset because he went to bed. I explain about the anxiety and he doesnt understand. This happens alot during my crying phase he got mad assuming he made me cry he always says do i treat you that bad your always crying. During my angry phase he got upset do you hate me your always yelling and irritated at me. And ive explained its not you its me im an emotional mess. I just wish he would finally get it and instead of yelling at me he'd embrace me and tell me i know itll be alright or something. Itll get better once i have the baby and im not so hormonal but i cant help but feel im too much for him and that i make him unhappy because of the problems i burden.