This might be long xD

So I've been with my BF/fiancé for 8years, I'm an only child 28yrs old.. my whole life I've been with my parents under the same roof, under their rules and watch.. last year in October I moved in with my BF who is a year younger (we both have bdays in May) &he; was my first... I work with infants and early childhood which has made me more knowledgeable about parenthood.. we never tried to conceive before, I feel like I'm so ready and decided that this was gonna be the year (specifically August since I'm hoping to have a May baby or in any case a summer baby) I've always been a "good girl" always done things the right way"the model child" according to parents friends lol... anyways I'm really anxious and excited to conceive just thinking about it makes me tear. I haven't tried but I'm just so hopeful that it will happen on my first try (August), but I see ladies talking about trying for 2 years and makes me wonder if I should start now seeing that I'm already 28 and my ideal age WAS always 26. I feel ready now, responsible and having knowledge about caring for infants has me feeling prepared for the next step. August right now seems so perfect since for the first time we're going on a little get away just us two and I'm supposed to ovulate mid August which has me thinking of trying it before and after through August.. idk if I should wait or start now. IM SO EXCITED THINKING ABOUT THAT DAY I GET PREGNANT AND HAVE THE BLESSING OF CARRYING A LITTLE PERSON IN ME (I would like to have twin girls or Frat. Twins.. BF had Frat twin siblings) makes me think I could have a double blessing at the same time :)

He says he wants a child too and when we do it he sometimes says let go inside? Of course I say no not yet. I feel like he only says it from the mouth out and wouldn't have the guts to actually let go inside... I'm waiting for next month to say do it! And see if he does or doesn't which will get me so upset if he doesn't... we've also used the pullout method A LOT and havnt got pregnant since I see there was always the osibility of pre cum? Now I'm also scared that maybe we just can't?... I'm so desperate for next month to come..

on another note, I haven't been a healthy person... I had a breast biopsy done and had brain surgery for epilepsy 4 years ago.. I'm still under medication for precautions... I have started taking folic acid so that my body gets ready and all I can do now is wait... am I thinking too much or shud I just not use protection from now on...